What you are about to read may shock you. Through emoji we have conceived a relevant mobile game that shoves social commentary in your face about the degradation of e-communication. The premise is based upon the gamer being enlisted to guide a bipolar emoji to Canada seeking emotional refuge whilst the player is being trolled by a ginger haired hipster thats “never gonna give you up!” If that wasnt enough for you to deal with, a real nut job of an Emoji has been elected President and he intends to clamp down on international travel by banning mobile devices thus increasing the difficulty for Emoji boarding texts to other countries. Many emoji are put on the “no text list” simply because of the emotion that they express. Tensions are high and the threat of an international Flame War is real folks!
How did we end up here…
If you send text messages, blog, or post comments then you have probably expressed your thoughts through emoji, or more recently maybe even a sticker. We have a love hate relationship with emoji and upon reflection this also includes the old school emoticons ;). We love expressive emoji because they help get straight to the point. However, adding LOL at the end of a condescending statement does not necessarily get you off the hook. We know that you meant it! Whats even worse is that not everyone uses emoji correctly therefore adding more confusion to the meaning of what was being stated. "RU down 4 (insert poop emoji here) L8R?" Please tell me that you meant chocolate ice cream! And if that wasnt enough, anonymity to consequences has spawned internet trolls. They feed upon our words and get their thrills out of stringing emoji together in an inappropriate manner with the malicious intent to inflict psychological warfare.
At FREE * REIGN Publishing, Inc., we say ENOUGH! Its time to pick up your smartphone and use it to make an actual phone call again. Until then you should feel really guilty for your contribution. Emoji are emotional beings and deserve better. When under duress, emoji go to where every human American goes when they can no longer cope with the trump cards that have been dealt to them...
“American Emoji in Canada, Eh!”
Gamer Tips:
⁃ Living in Canada isnt free so collect as many loonies and toonies as you can along the way. Americans dont understand what they are used for so you will find them when you are "oot and a-boot."
⁃ Some Emoji are fed up with being pushed around, stepped on, or used as shields. They may stick together and Robo-Bag, Clam-Bag, or maybe even Team-Bag you back so watch it! Youll understand this better once you get rolling.
⁃ The only bad apples are innovation posers that gaslight consumers. They’re a waste of your coin so avoid them as they will cost you in more ways than one! This isnt even in the game, we’re just ranting to whoever will read this.
⁃ Avoid any dropping F-Bombs from “the Finger.” Hes a hater and haters gonna hate!
⁃ Emoji Bosses like to hoard loonies and will take your life if you are not careful. However, if you can get to them before they take you out then they are well worth the effort.
⁃ Some actions may confuse you, but not to worry as you are smart and will most likely figure it out. No help will be provided for any of your OMG and/or WTF moments. None.
⁃ President Emoji is gross and likes to grab private areas and rub his junk on you. So stay clear of him unless you are one of his supporters then by all means please go and get some. You deserve it.
⁃ And finally, soda pop neutralizes all onscreen conflict.
Will you survive this challenging journey all the way to Canadian utopia, travel bans notwithstanding? If you are able to pull off the near impossible then you are greeted at the border from one of the internet’s “most requested” emoji as he leads you through a musical parade welcoming you to Canada, Eh…
Make it to the end and prepare to get Emoji-Rolled! Soarie a-boot that. ;)